There was cause for optimism and indeed celebration this week in Seatown Place when a neighbouring business opened.  Riva Townhouse has opened across the street from us in the premises formerly occupied by Mizu who we were all very sad to see having to close in August of this year. We wish the new venture every success.

Quite apart from adding the welcoming aromas of freshly brewed coffee to our end of the Street it also gives us here at Counselling Connections the opportunity to reflect on the value and comfort we get from a simple cup of tea or coffee. In fact, its something we’ve made a bit of a study of!

Clients who are coming to therapy on a regular basis frequently develop a ‘therapy routine’.  This often revolves around a hot beverage or treat either before or after their weekly session. It’s not unusual for a client to arrive clutching a freshly brewed coffee. Indeed, far from discouraging this, here at Counselling Connections we have tea and coffee making facilities should anyone wish to help themselves.

Being in the business of teasing out and trying to understand psychological issues we find ourselves asking what it is about a cup of tea or coffee that seems to give so much succour.  We asked a group of people a little while back to say the first words that occurred to them when we said ‘tea’ and the responses were, ‘comfort’; ‘home’; ‘relaxing’ and ‘aaaah!’. It evokes feelings of home and of comfort, safety and relaxation.

We’re inclined to the belief that a cuppa is a ‘transitional object’ for grown ups! A transitional object is a term first used by the British psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott. The best known examples of it are a comfort blanket and later a teddy bear. In a nutshell the theory goes that the object forms a comfort for a child, a transition between the child and its mother when they are apart. The child derives some of the satisfaction and comfort that is normally provided by a loving mother from the comfort blanket or other object. Among other things it is about coping with being alone. Here at Counselling Connections we are of the belief that an adult taste for a tea or coffee, especially during times of stress, is a grown up example of this childhood phenomenon.

Frothy, milky, sugary beverages like lattes, mochas and cappuccinos could easily be seen as substitutes for mother’s milk and may explain the psychological comfort and satisfaction they give above and beyond the actual physical taste and textures.

So, enjoy your tea or coffee; savour it and consider the extra comfort you can draw from being a loving mother to yourself, comforting the child within.