Here at Counselling Connections this week it has all been about settling back into the routine after the holiday. The New Year begins in earnest for many when the kids go back to school. And the return to school has thrown up some interesting asides: from parents and children alike. One mum told of how she had been really looking forward to the kids going back to school. Cabin fever had begun to settle in over the last days of the holidays. The weather wasn’t good and the children were getting tetchy being cooped up in the house. That cry that drives the average parent mad ‘I’m bored’ was heard more and more. And the reply ‘why don’t you clean your room’ got the usual unwelcome response. School, it seems offered the chance of an antidote to these ills.

One of the issues that people faced was an increase in the ordinary feelings of dread experienced on a Sunday night in anticipation of the week ahead. It’s that feeling that many of us get early evening on Sundays which is a throwback to the days when a thought of homework, banished since Friday afternoon, pops into your head. Thoughts of homework not yet done resonate even into adulthood long after any homework is still required. We think this affects people in their work; especially where work hours mirror the school week. Indeed we may get into a habit of repeating these routines without thinking about them. That’s where we come in. It is part of our work the help people become aware of these things and to consider what the purpose of it all is.

These are questions that are naturally faced at this time of year. In fact, there is some evidence that questions around the purpose of daily routine rise in September too, mirroring the cycle of the school year. This week we have heard from mothers who found that, despite the length of the holiday, they really missed their kids when they went back to school. They describe feelings of loss. We have also heard from school children who dreaded the return of class and who really struggled with facing into it again. The same goes for many people who returned to work this week. Some reported minor illnesses and aches and pains as they tried to adjust back to the weekly routine.

This all raises questions about the purpose of our routine and maybe even whether we can find meaning in everyday tasks. It’s clear that not everybody feels this dread work or school. It is quite amazing how much activity a person can fit into their week when they are focused on a particular goal. Sometimes this goal is a medium term thing that can be achieved in a matter of months. Sometimes it is a project that can take years’ like for example a university degree. And maybe this kind of thinking can also add meaning to a sort of purpose in life which we carry with us through all kinds of ups and downs. This may be a goal that has to do with the way we live our life, one which might be difficult to define or describe clearly in words.

There is something to be found in daily existence that makes routine at least bearable and maybe even enjoyable. It could be that we will never again experience that Sunday evening dread if we look forward to our work or our learning schedule. The secret seems to be in having a reason that we are aware of in the moment for the task we are doing. Each little day to day assignment and interaction becomes a building block, a small part of something we are building. These things which we used to dread become meaningful because we understand that they form one part of picture which we are painting. When we stand back and look at it we can admire what we have achieved and where our effort has taken us. It seems that if we became aware of what we would like to achieve, if we are in tune with it and can make a plan to get there we can live a more purposeful and meaningful life.

Counselling Connections, Dundalk.