Here at Counselling Connections this week we have been reflecting on the subject of suicide which is very much in the news following high profile deaths both here in Ireland and in the U.K. To mention the names is only to intrude on those families’ private grief. We have been listening with interest to the public reactions; the confusion; the loss and the struggle to understand. We hear people wonder what leads a person to the point where they feel there is no other option but to end their own life. If you are considering taking your own life please don’t. If you are reading this because you have clicked on here in the search for some answers then please read on. There is help available. If you are reading this because you are worried about a loved one then please stay with them. And ask for help.

If you have reached a point where you are actively making plans then please pause and look for help. There are many help lines and services available to come to your aid and support you through these difficult times. You may have come through times in the past when you felt this way and you will know that the worst will pass. And it will pass again. You can get through this crisis. Sometimes a ‘no suicide’ pact is useful. This may be by way of an agreement with one or more close friends or family. It can involve a code word to be used, say in a text message, which you have agreed is a call for urgent help. It can be as simple as ‘I am not good today’. The goal here is just to get over the immediate strong feelings you have and to keep you well enough while you get more support and longer term help.

It may be that you can’t find the words or that you don’t know how to go about getting help. It may be that you can’t see how you will ever feel good again. If you have come to the conclusion that your family or friends would be better off without you then we are here to tell you that this is not the case. Nobody here underestimates how difficult it can be to climb out of the pit of depression. To do so is a difficult road with setbacks and ups and downs along the way. But you don’t have to travel that road alone. We understand that this may be a journey you have tried to make before and come up against what seem like immovable blocks. We would appeal to you to keep trying. If the person you sought help from before let you down or couldn’t understand then try someone else. Try to find someone who you feel can understand your world. This might be the right counsellor; or the right friend. We know that this is not an easy thing to do.

Our experience has taught us that someone can come back from the brink of suicide. Sometimes it is just chance that stops someone taking that final, fatal step. But then they manage their way through the immediate crisis and slowly put one foot in front of the other in the search for a way out. It can be slow and it can be painful. But it can be done. There is a way out of the most painful depression; even one that has lasted for many, many years. It is possible to connect with the richness available in life in ways which you may never have experienced before. It is possible to reconnect with life and to love and be loved. Hold on there. Keep trying. Look for someone to give you a hand. It will pass. And you can feel better.

Counselling Conections, Dundalk.